RSS

Tag Archives: pelvic girdle pain

Full Term!…And 38 Weeks…

Okay, so today I am 38 weeks pregnant, but I totally missed out on my 37 week (aka FULL TERM) update, so I’ll start with that really quickly…

...please excuse my terrible hair and general grotty appearance...

…please excuse my terrible hair and general grotty appearance – also, I’ve realised that Luke is *always* sitting playing Xbox on the bed while I take these…he DOES do other stuff, I promise…

I am terrible at organisation and getting things done. I think it’s because I get a bit too excited about things a bit too quickly, and I let myself think that a) I’m jumping the gun by doing more than writing a list (or two or three), and b) I have LOADS of time to do whatever it is I’m obsessing about.

Take my hospital bags as an example. I knew what was going in them 8 weeks ago, and I knew what I needed to buy to be “ready”. There was no point in packing then and there because I had six weeks ahead of me to do it. Suddenly, SEVEN weeks had gone by and not only was I not packed, but I also didn’t have half of the things I needed.

One major problem was that all the baby clothes remained unwashed…so, I celebrated 37 weeks of pregnancy by doing about 4 loads of washing (and then I spent the remainder of the – very damp – week trying to get it all dry…see, THAT is why you do it early)…

...just some of the washing - and our naughty dogs...

…just some of the washing – and our naughty dogs…

…and then I spent last Tuesday packing and panicking that I didn’t have enough onesies or long sleeved vests. Needless to say, my packing is almost done now. Almost.

I also celebrated by cutting into the gorgeous cake that my sister-in-law had made for my “not a baby shower” party, as I had been reluctant to cut it (aka “ruin it”) at the party itself…

cutcake

Oh my god it was delicious. Not cutting it at the party was the best decision ever a bit selfish of me…I have ended up eating a slice (or two…or three) of it most days and I still have a tiny bit left a week later…

And today I’m 38 weeks

38wksresized

…and boy do I know it…

Our Mini one has dropped so low into my pelvis that I can no longer bend forward or squat without a feeling of sudden sharp pressure on my cervix (sorry, but it’s true), and my legs are now so swollen that they’re vaguely reminiscent of chip shop donner kebabs One good thing about his lower position is that I’ve not suffered acid reflux in the past two days. Hooray for small (very significant) mercies.

I’m also sleeping almost exclusively in the spare room…

Some nights I feel like I might be able to get away with snuggling up to Luke and going to sleep in my own bed, but less than two hours later I’ve either woken myself up with the sound of my snoring, or he’s woken me up to tell me about how loud it is. Most nights I don’t even bother trying, and I just wait til he’s asleep and slink (okay, waddle) off with my pillows. The two of us are missing sharing a bed very very much. I just hope the snoring subsides when the baby is here, otherwise I’ll be keeping ALL of us awake.

Only two weeks left to go now…or four if you’re being negative about it.

I feel like I’m jinxing things by saying it so much, but I really do think he’s going to come early. All day today I have been having period pain-type aches, the odd twinge across my bump and a LOT of cervical pain. Walking has been quite a challenge because of the sudden, sharp stabs (a woman on my birthing forum calls them ‘Fanny Daggers’, which is not only a very good way of describing them, but also makes me laugh like an idiot)…and (AND) as the evening is wearing on I’m starting to get those hot, pulsating back pains again. They’re AGES apart though so are probably indicative of nothing.

I think I’d like him to hang on in there a while longer, but I can’t deny that it’d be good to have the waiting over. The control freak in me does not enjoy the not-knowing part of birth.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 24, 2015 in Baby, Life, Pregnancy

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Weighty Issues…

Before I begin…this is quite a personal post, and quite a hard one for me to write. I’m doing it anyway because, a) it might exorcise some demons, and b) it might help someone else who’s feeling the same way as I am now and could do with knowing that they’re not alone. I feel quite alone in feeling this way at the moment.

Here goes…

I have always always struggled with my weight and I’ve had issues with food since I was 15. To cut a long story short, I’ve been big (over a size 20) and I’ve been little (size 6) – I’ve been bullied and mocked for being fat, and complimented and praised for being skinny. Consequently, I associate being overweight with feeling worthless and unlikeable.

(note: This issue is about my OWN self image…I do not think that overweight people are worthless and unlikeable. On the contrary, I see beauty and worth in everyone…just not in myself)

So…onto the point…

When I fell pregnant I was 10 stone 2 lbs and about a size 10, a weight and size that I maintained up until about week eight when I suddenly had to eat ALL THE CARBS to stave off feelings of nausea and misery. Five weeks later (and one stone heavier) my nausea subsided and my SPD began…I carried on eating terribly (cake, cake and more cake) and suddenly I was in too much pain to keep up with the amount of physical activity that I was used to. I knew what I was doing to myself (what I am still doing to myself on occasion), but I just couldn’t stop over-eating. I think it’s a bit of a shame spiral – I feel bad so I eat, and then I feel worse so I eat some more…and on and on and on…

…other people helped to make it ok by saying “You’re eating for two!” (even when I know that’s a ridiculous untruth), or “If ever there’s a time to eat what you want, it’s now!” (no, no it isn’t…this is the time when I should be looking after myself, not giving in to myself and my gluttony)…

Aside from that though, even when I’ve been “good” and eaten healthily (and not excessively) I have STILL gained at the same rate. It’s disheartening and has made me think that I should just eat whatever the hell I want as it won’t make any difference anyway.

Now I’m 29 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) and I’m tipping the scales at 13 stone 8 lbs.

I’m HUGE.

My thighs rub together now, and when I look in the mirror I see joints of ham where my arms used to be. My bump is beautiful and I love it for the most part (even though it is BIG for 29 weeks), but I do not love the fatty “double bump” that hangs from the bottom of it. I have chins, plural.

Luke is very supportive. He tells me that I’m beautiful and that I’m not fat, I’m pregnant…but I am quick to point out that I am not pregnant in my legs or my arse. I can handle the bumpiness of pregnancy, it’s just the excess weight that I can’t deal with, and looking in the mirror often sets me off on a self-depreciating rant…but his words and his affection always make me feel better.

Other people, however, are a completely different story…People who know when I’m due vary their reaction to my size between “Are you sure you’ve got your dates right?” and the ever hilarious “…have they checked to see if it’s twins?”, and until I left work I was constantly having this conversation with well-meaning people:

WMP     “How long have you got left?”

Me:        “Two and a half months.”

WMP     “REALLY?!” *visibly staggering back, presumably so they can see all of me at once…or perhaps avoid being crushed by my belly*

When you’re pregnant you are suddenly public property, and it’s amazing how free and easy people are with their comments on your size.

If I’m honest, other people’s opinions (well-meaning or not) have been the main catalyst for me feeling this way. It’s not their fault at all…I’m sure most pregnant women can handle these comments in a much more well-balanced way. If I was just large with child I’d probably still get annoyed sometimes…but because I have issues, and because I feel like I’m so grossly over-weight, I take everything to heart in the most extreme way possible. Now I’m at home (and not in the public eye so much) I don’t get a daily update on what other people think about my pregnant body, but I’ve replaced their voices with my own.

I just can’t help bullying myself over it.

According to all the books and a pregnancy weight calculator I should have put on about 35lbs by the END of my pregnancy. I know that every woman and every pregnancy is different, but I have surpassed that by a good 13lbs (lets just call it a stone shall we?) and I feel just awful about that. This is NOT the way I envisioned my pregnancy…

…I thought I’d stay active, be healthy and have a neat little bump that grew (slowly) with the growth of my unborn child. I did not expect to feel like a great hulking troll who can’t walk up the stairs without getting out of breath and who grows steadily larger with each mouthful of cake. I’m trying to make light of it here, but I’ve sobbed for hours over the way I look and feel – I’m beating myself up over this on a daily basis and my self-confidence has taken a massive nose-dive. I’m embarrassed to even meet up with friends that I haven’t seen in a while for fear that they’ll think I’m disgusting for letting myself get this big this quickly. When I do see them I often feel the need to draw attention to my weight-gain straight away, just to get in there before they do.

Thankfully, I seem to have stopped gaining weight now, and over the last week I have actually seemed to be losing a pound or so every few days. It makes me feel a little better about myself, but I think it’s mostly because I physically can’t fit as much food in me anymore. See, even when I get a handle on myself and start seeing a positive change I still put it down to an external (or internal, in this case) force rather than my own efforts.

…and I am making an effort. I’m doing more (gentle) exercise, and I’m watching what I eat more. I don’t think I can (or should) lose a stone in the next 11 weeks, but if nothing else I can try to keep myself from piling on even more weight. I am hoping that after our boy is born and my SPD (hopefully) relents, breast feeding and exercise will bring me back to a size and shape that I am happy with.

At the moment I am, more often than not, very sad about how I have let myself go…but then our baby hiccups or moves a foot or a hand, and I suddenly don’t really care very much about how I look or feel…at least for a while. All I can hope is that once he is here in the world I will be so in awe of him that I can completely put aside how much my own self-image affects me.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on June 21, 2015 in Life, Pregnancy

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

SPD (Pt. 3) – Where I Am Now…

I’m 26 (almost 27) weeks pregnant now and have been suffering with SPD/PGP/PGD for about fourteen weeks.

As I’ve said before, the pain has mostly been in the right-hand side of the back of my pelvis, but in the past few weeks I’ve regularly felt it in both sides. I’ve also experienced some pretty sharp pains in the ligaments at the front of my pelvis too. Some days I’ve gotten up and I’ve not even been able to bend over the sink without being in agony and work, with all of the bending and stretching that my job entails, has been getting unbearable.

My colleagues have been great at making me take things easy most of the time but some things are unavoidable when you work in a busy shop. My workmates might know what I’m going through and make allowances for me, but the customers don’t give me the same concessions.

It was all making me feel thoroughly miserable, and after a chat with my midwife and GP I was signed off work for a fortnight.

During the time off my boss rang me for a chat and discussed different options with me but ultimately felt that my job wasn’t helping my condition and any other work he could offer me (office-based, with lots of sitting) was only going to make things worse. Reduced hours was another way we could have gone, but I usually found that I was in pain within 30 minutes of getting to work, so that didn’t seem like a viable option either. He suggested that I speak with the doctor to get her honest opinion of how I should proceed, and reassured me that he just wanted me to do the best thing for me and my baby.

I spoke to the doctor again a couple of days ago and told her my options…she said she thought it’d be best to sign me off for the duration of my pregnancy.

So here I am, at home, being taken care of by my incredibly patient husband. I feel terribly guilt that I am not at work and that I’m letting my colleagues down, but my boss has been awesome and I can’t fault his support.

As for taking care of myself…I’m still doing the prescribed stretches, and I’ve started antenatal yoga in a bid to loosen myself up a bit more (whilst also getting stronger). I’m also waiting to go back to see Jane the physiotherapist at the hospital for some more massage.

I just want to make sure that I am capable of giving birth to our baby. It’s going to be hard enough as it is without the pelvic girdle pain. I know that life isn’t perfect and that I might not get the natural labour that I’m planning but I want to do everything I can to make sure that pelvic girdle pain (of all things) doesn’t get in the way of my birth plan.

I’ll do my best to keep you updated…

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 7, 2015 in Life, Pregnancy

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction!…Pt. 2…

So! In my last post I said a bit more about my referral to the Pelvic Girdle Pain clinic at our local hospital…

When I realised that I was attending a clinic for women with PGP I started to panic that the midwife had gotten it all wrong and that I’d be thrown out. The doctor had told me I didn’t have it (silly girl that I am)…my pelvis wasn’t clicking, I wasn’t in pain most of the time. All I needed was physio and I was convinced that he was right and that they wouldn’t be able to help me, but I went along to the clinic anyway…

So there I was, thirteen weeks pregnant and sat in a room with seven other women…seven other women with very noticeable bumps. They were FAR further along in their pregnancies than I was (cue yet more worry that I would be outed as a faker) and, after we each gave a little background about our lives and how our pain was affecting us, I discovered that I was the only one still in the first trimester, and the only one to have no other children to run around after (panic worry panic panic).

One by one, we were all taken aside to be assessed and shown how to best support our pelvises (pelvi?) with a tubigrip bandage. I was asked to lean with my palms against the wall of the cubicle and raise my legs while the nice physio lady checked my pelvis for movement. Twice. Then a third time.  Then she said she’d be referring me to the consultant physiotherapist because she didn’t think that I had the movement I should have had.

Of the eight of us, I was the only one who was asked to stay to make an appointment…perhaps this was my punishment for my fakery?

In the week between my appointments I wore my tubigrip with varying degrees of success. It’s a pretty huge piece of bandaging and we were told to wear it doubled/quadrupled up (as we needed) over our pelvis and hips, like a little bodycon miniskirt, and under/over our clothes as necessary (for example…put it on UNDER your dress or top, but OVER your tights/trousers/leggings). We were only supposed to wear it during the day OR at night (never both in the same day), and were warned to cease wearing it if we noticed their baby’s movements slow or lessen (although this was just for the others – and my future reference – as they were all WELL past feeling their babies move and I was barely past my 12 week scan).

It felt amazing to have my pelvis supported by the bandage, for a while…but as time wore on I just felt utterly squashed, and it not only seemed to cause my tummy to ache, it also made me suffer more regular attacks of round ligament pain (note: this link is a good description of RLP as well as SPD) which is a completely undesirable trait in an item that’s meant to ease discomfort.

…AND it made trips to the loo a spectacularly massive effort…

It didn’t really help. Sure, the compression felt good, but it just wasn’t supportive enough to really do anything for me. I was still feeling like a fraud at this point as I obviously didn’t have SPD…no wonder the bandage wasn’t working for me…

At my second appointment I met Jane, the consultant physiotherapist.

We had a chat about how I was feeling and my past history of injury and pain (I had a pretty heinous fall to my right knee while skating that put an end to me playing roller derby and seems to have squiffed my whole body up), and then she checked the movement of my pelvis and legs. It didn’t take long for her to decide that my pelvis was blocked (tight/rigid) on the right hand side and she then set about trying to free it up a little, which ended in a massage (the best bit by far).

She also showed me how I could free my pelvis myself at home by lying on my back on the floor, bending my right knee up (foot flat on the floor) and relaxing my left leg over the top of it, using the weight of my left leg (and the firmness of the floor) to stretch out my right-hand sacroiliac joint. After doing this I can also try to give that side of my pelvis a firm massage to help it relax even more.

At the end of the session I still felt like a big fat phoney, but Jane assured me that my doctor was wrong and that I am suffering from SPD. As well as doing the exercises she gave me I was also supposed to go back for another session, but work commitments got in the way and, over 10 weeks later, I still haven’t managed to go back…

…more about that another time…

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 3, 2015 in Life, Pregnancy

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction?…Pt 1…

Or: A more detailed account of why the GP I saw is an idiot…

(Or: I like to repeat myself for the sake of clarity…)

I was around 13 weeks pregnant and just starting to get over morning sickness (or constant “I feel like I’m on a boat” nausea with hardly any puking, as it was in my case) when I started to feel a pain in my pelvis.

It started off as a twinge in my butt cheek…a little biting sensation when I put my weight on my right leg that felt a LOT like sciatica. I’d notice it more when I was doing a lot of walking around, and it started to really affect me when I was climbing the stairs. Sometimes I’d be fine, but other times the sudden pain would cause me to yell out (which was quite worrying for my family and co-workers!) and sometimes my leg wouldn’t take my weight and it made me stumble.

At its absolute worst it was so intense and painful  that I couldn’t pick my leg up, let alone put it down again. Unfortunately, I happened to be in the middle of Redditch town centre and a five-minute walk from the car when I got to feel this extreme of pain. Luckily my sister was there to act as a crutch…

Looking back I also had a terrible “seperatey” pain in the right side of my pelvis when I propped myself up in bed that was (obviously, in hindsight) completely related, but that I’d chosen to ignore and put down to a crappy mattress. I was feeling a lot of random internal shooting pains in my pelvic area too.

It didn’t hurt all the time, but it began to hurt more and more often, and was always got worse the more I did. Eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t face another day of dragging myself around work, so I booked myself in for an emergency appointment with a doctor to try and get some physiotherapy sorted.  After disagreeing with me that I was suffering from sciatica or PGP, he did agree that I needed physiotherapy, but he refused to refer me until I had spoken to my midwife to see if she could refer me quicker. For reference, he handed me a list of phone numbers for physiotherapy centres in my town and suggested I call them to see how quickly they could fit me in.

If he’d have referred me as an emergency I’d have been seen by a physiotherapist in three days (which the first clinic I rang told me that the doctor should have known, what with it being his JOB and everything) so I decided to forego his “help” and put my faith in the midwives instead.

As it went, I had to wait a day for the community midwives to call me back and tell me that I’d been referred to the hospital. They said that I’d get a letter through the post to book myself into a clinic, but that I should call the hospital straight away (before the letter arrived) to make sure that I got onto a session that same week. I got booked into a clinic a week after my initial appointment with the GP and felt confident that I’d be feeling better soon…

…and then the letter arrived…

…and then I started to panic…

I obviously hadn’t listened properly to the hospital receptionist on the phone as I thought I was going to be seeing a physio about my worsening sciatica, but the letter told me that I had been referred to a Pelvic Girdle Pain clinic.

Now, although I thought the doctor had gotten it wrong about my sciatica, I thought he was right in saying that  I wasn’t suffering from SPD…and so, in my hormonal-pregnant-mental state I decided that I had been referred for the wrong sort of therapy…that I was going to end up being thrown out of the clinic…that a group of pregnant women would scorn and mock me for being where I wasn’t supposed to be…

Most of all I panicked that was going to be weeks before I got the help I needed.


…coming next…The Clinic…

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 1, 2015 in Life, Pregnancy

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: