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Pregnancy…A Whole New Adventure…

17 Mar

I was already five weeks pregnant by the time we found out we were having a baby.

I’ve always been one of those women who – even when I was on the pill – had monthly “I’m pregnant!” panics, doing pregnancy tests when I really didn’t need to. Coming off the pill before we got married obviously intensified this feeling, and soon I was only buying tests from Poundland, lest I bankrupt us with my obsessive purchase of Clearblue tests. I’d actually started to believe that maybe I couldn’t have children when the tests were still negative over a year after I took my last pill.

Not that we were trying, of course…we just weren’t not trying. And I was ridiculously broody. RIDICULOUSLY.

The silly thing is that when I actually did fall pregnant before Christmas I ignored all the signs, failed to notice I’d missed my period, and shushed everyone who joked about possible pregnancy.

For a few days before Christmas itself I started to get terrible back and stomach pain (wailing to Luke that I was dying) and I started sleeping pretty much all the time. To Luke’s amusement I eschewed sweets and puddings, and ate an inordinate amount of cheese, which I put down to “shut up I’m not pregnant”.

I went back to work on the first Saturday of the New Year (after quite a few sick days where I lay in bed sleeping ALL THE TIME) and it was only then that I realised I might have missed my period and that I should probably do one of those tests that I’m so keen on doing. I popped off to Poundland on my break and, utterly convinced it would be negative, I did it in the toilet at work.

I can’t really emphasise this enough, but NEVER DO PREGNANCY TESTS AT WORK!…especially if you really think you might be pregnant.

I have done these tests a million times before and although they tell you to wait 5 minutes to read it, the control line usually appears pretty quickly. In the past I’ve always stared at the positive/negative window willing a line to appear in there too but, in my experience, once the control has appeared you’ve pretty much got your answer. Now these tests are RUBBISH and the lines are pretty weak, but there it was.

...the very first (very pale) test...

…the very first (very pale) test…

Positive. Maybe.

And then I started to freak out in a quiet and controlled way.

“Oh” said my brain. “OH!”

…and then I spent the next two hours in a state of shock. I wanted to call Luke but I didn’t want to tell him over the phone. I ran to my locker sporadically, starting text messages to my best friends and deleting them again. I had to tell Luke first. In the end I rang my mom…

Mom: Are you okay?
Me: No…
Mom: What’s the matter?
Me: I can’t tell you. I have to tell Luke first.
Mom: Oh?…OH! Oh…
Me: Yes, that’s what I said. Okay then. Bye.

…and then I stood in a shocked daze for a little bit longer, finally blurting it all out to my manager who patted me on the head and let me go home early.

All the way home I tried to think of a way I could tell Luke the news. Hell, I wasn’t even sure that I was pregnant…that line had been SO faint. Now, I know that no matter how faint the lines are, you don’t often get a false positive, but I don’t know, maybe it was just a brain tumor?…that’ll be my hypochondria flaring up a bit there.

I ran into the house and straight into the bathroom, armed with another (crappy Poundland) pregnancy test. To my frustration it yielded a fainter line than the first. I took a deep breath and presented him with both of these along with a decent amount of furrows on my brow…

…and he smiled…

…and it was GREAT.

Obviously though, I still didn’t believe it, and I did another two tests the next morning. Both Poundland. Both fainter and more ambiguous than the first and second. There was only one thing for it. I had to stop being a tight-ass and pay a decent amount of money for a decent test.

Hello Mr Clearblue Digital Test.

It was agonising, but I waited until Monday morning (a whole SIXTEEN HOURS) just to make sure I gave it the best chance possible. I was totally and utterly convinced that it would scream NOT PREGNANT at me and my world would shatter into a million miserable little pieces…but I didn’t need to worry…

...there's no second guessing this one...

…there’s no second guessing this one…

Luke was still dozing in bed so I crept back into our room and whispered “I am pregnant” in his sleepy ear…

…and he smiled again…

…and I did a little happy shriek…

…and that was when our new adventure began for real…

 
1 Comment

Posted by on March 17, 2015 in Life, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

 

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One response to “Pregnancy…A Whole New Adventure…

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